Armed With Words
By Mike Kohut

Dr. Campbell often greeted students, while checking for acceptable attire, as we entered Key West High School at the main Flagler Street entrance in the late 1950s. A stern, but friendly Principal who believed in following and enforcing the rules. Many girls were sent home for revealing too much loveliness, and for guys, a neat appearance was required with combed hair and T-shirts void of cigarette packs secured in a rolled up sleeve. Our dress code was relatively relaxed, but once a fashion boundary was crossed, entry was denied until corrected. A wooden paddle supposedly hung in his office ready to impose corrective action for conduct unbecoming a student. Fortunately, I never found myself on the receiving end of that rumored device.

My favorite subjects were rooted in the sciences, even though I had problems with algebra. I procrastinated many difficult assignments until the very last moment for reasons I still don't understand today. Looking back, I was most likely dyslectic since reading was so challenging that I often fell asleep on page one. Plus, my spelling was absolutely atrocious. Some adults politely labeled me as a slow learner, but that phrase could also be considered a euphemism for a low IQ. Whatever the cause, I found it much easier to play guitar rather than subjecting myself to the rigors of the required reading to obtain passing grades.

Mr. Conner's English IV Class was a contradiction in that I really liked the man, but just shunned the subject. My goal was to simply attain a passing grade by any means possible, thus avoiding the wrath of my authoritarian father who always presented himself as a straight "A" student. English IV was essentially a composition class with hours of required reading and writing. Therefore, for me, a major problem. During the first week of class, Mr. Conner explained that our Senior English Class would read ‘Great Expectations' by Charles Dickens focusing on character development and story analysis. I really had no clue what he was talking about, but when he held that dictionary size novel up for the class to view, I instantly knew I was in trouble, even from my seat in the back row. On prior book-report assignments, I readily relied upon book summaries published in Reader's Digest to circumvent my struggles with reading. However, ‘Great Expectations' was a literary classic with no book review available, at least not to me. My plan was to pay particular attention in class and pray for the best possible outcome.

Every Monday, Mr. Conner assigned twenty spelling words from the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) book which all students were required to purchase in preparation for that dreaded college entrance exam. Obtaining good grades on these weekly spelling tests was paramount in helping me secure a passing grade in English IV. On one particular week, the words were especially eccentric and probably rooted in the Ancient Greek lexicon. Procrastinating to the very last moment, I decided to hastily scribble most of the words on the inside of my lower left forearm just before entering the classroom. Of course most would consider this as Grade ‘A' cheating, but in my case it was just survival of the fittest. Sometimes desperation conceals the consequences of wearing a short sleeve shirt.

During the test, I honestly attempted to spell the words from memory, but eventually I had to sneak a peek at "the arm" to obtain a passing grade. Mr. Conner, like all teachers during a test, would monitor the class from his desk at the front of the classroom or slowly meander the class perimeter to make sure our test ethics were intact. I was keenly aware of his monitoring habits and very careful not to be too obvious while glancing at my arm, but multitasking under pressure can be a dangerous activity. Suddenly, Mr. Conner grabbed my arm from behind and yanked me out of my seat! I was now S*H*O*C*K*I*N*G*L*Y the center of attention.

"We have a cheater among us and I have caught him red-handed!" Mr. Conner proclaimed, as he pulled me to the front of the class.

This was beyond embarrassing and I felt like a cat, helplessly held by the scruff of the neck, before being tossed out the door. I knew instantly, I was now going to be sent to Dr. Campbell's office and would most likely end up on the receiving end of his alleged corrective action implement of pain. Then, suddenly looking closely at my arm, Mr. Conner abruptly broke out in laughter.

"On second thought Mr. Kohut, you can return to your seat and finish the test. The words on your arm are misspelled!"

Now the real embarrassment was about to become a reality, I couldn't even cheat correctly!

However, on second thought, what a welcomed relief! Not only had I simultaneously escaped Dr. Campbell's corrective action, but also the wrath of my dad. My day was positively improving, spelling test failure, notwithstanding.

From that day forward, I abandoned my dishonest ‘Grade A' cheating and thankfully received a passing grade in English IV as my attitude began to change. I never did read Great Expectations, but I did follow class discussions with renewed interest. Mr. Conner never treated me differently from any other student and that embarrassing incident was never mentioned or referred to during the remainder of the semester. I think he knew that my ethical center was reestablished by self-correcting embarrassment. Just like I am enjoying writing this story, I know Mr. Conner has experienced similar enjoyment while recalling my cheating heart. That realization set the stage for whom I would eventually become as an adult... easy going, truthful, and most of all, empathetic to misguided decisions that precipitate unplanned results.

Later during summer vacation I was listening to KWIZ where Mr. Conner hosted a jazz radio program. He would often spin ‘Take Five' by The Dave Brubeck Quartet, still one of my favorite recordings. During a music break, he mentioned that one of his students had a run in with a 25 foot shark out at Sand Key. Well that student was me! So I immediately walked across the Stock Island Bridge and was at the station within ten minutes. He interviewed me on the air and I felt that he actually believed my unbelievable encounter. However, my Conch companions were not easily convinced and possibly remain so to this day! Nonetheless, it's my story and I'm sticking to it!

I joined the Marine Corps in 1964 and entered USMC Electronics School in San Diego, California with intact academic ethics. After my four year hitch in the Corps was up, I entered College with the same ethics since I now held myself to excessively high academic standards. During my very last final exam before graduating from the California State University at Long Beach with a BS in Medical Microbiology, I was struggling with a difficult Bacterial Physiology question. Suddenly, another student's test paper floated onto the floor after being dislodged from her desk by a sudden burst of wind from an opened window. As I glanced down, the answer was delivered.

I smiled, was it from the Devil or God?